Windows on SMI Henry's Life & Work

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

HOW TO STUDY THE CHILD.—NO. 3.



BY MRS. S. M. I. HENRY.

How closely the comfort and health of the body are related to the tempers of the soul, few have as yet realized; nor yet how these tempers react on the body for health or disease. Neither have we appreciated how that strange power called "personality," or "spiritual atmosphere," etc., by which every individual is surrounded, in which he lives and moves, and through which he operates, works in the lives of those about him. What her "atmosphere" means to her home, the average mother has never dreamed, nor yet what must be its effects upon the physical sensations as well as the mental processes of her child. The importance of at least some understanding of this matter is so great that it should be one of her first studies to find what effect her own personality has on her child.

You have seen a babe who, just as soon as he was taken up by the mother, would begin to lose his liveliness and brightness. He might cuddle down in her arms, and seem content; but it would be a drooping sort of contentment, which would lead to the question, '' Is the child suddenly ill?" Another mother might be found, whose child would begin to pout and strike, pinch or kick, manifesting a peculiar nervous irritability, just as soon as she began to try to do anything with him; while another would cause her child to respond with joyous brightness to her every approach and touch, like a blossom to the sun.

One mother says, '' I cannot understand why it is; but my children are always worse with me than with anybody else. Whose fault is it? "Surely not the children's; for they are, as yet, no more responsible than is the bud hidden in its sheath. They can only be, as yet, what they are made to be by the influences which surround them.

Writes another: "I have four little ones to train for the Master, and nothing would give me greater joy than to be able to bring them all with me, and tell him, Here are the children which you gave me. But suppose, dear sister, that you have begun all wrong; what then? I confess I am at a loss how to proceed with them. They have been brought up thus far on the principle, Do as I say. How shall I begin to train them in the Lord's way? How would you teach small children that they are responsible to God alone? I am honestly seeking light on this subject, so please give me all the help you can, and you will have my lifelong gratitude."

First of all, in this as well as every other case, the mother must earnestly and prayerfully compare herself with the effect which she has on her children. She must study her child, to this end, more closely than any belle ever studied her own reflection in her mirror. The child's conduct is little more than a reflection of the mother's own character and nature, as they live the day out together, perhaps alone. This student-mother must not shrink from those revelations of herself which will come in this study of her child, and of herself as mirrored there, nor shirk the responsibility which it will involve. If the child will not come gladly at her call, or respond to her wishes, there is a reason for it. Whether that reason seems to be some peculiar perversity of the child or not, upon her rests the responsibility of securing the power by which it shall be brought into harmony, and the evil overcome. She may have to learn to give an entirely different inflection to her voice — to cultivate a new one, maybe; she may have to play on a harp of many strings, acquire both strength and delicacy of tone, of which she had not supposed herself capable. Tone represents power, and power — the power of God, which finds its most available channel in the human voice—is her only hope. She will need to watch the effect of different forms of expression on the child. Any tone or word which brings a frown, a nervous start, a cry of anger, a look of fear, or rebellion, should never be repeated. Those lines, flashes, and cries are danger-signals—lookout! If the cause is repeated, it is at the peril of the entire future; repetition of the cause means more and more of a repetition of the evil tempers which it has aroused, until the criminal impulses of defiance or of deception are evolved, and the disease-germs of anger and hatred have begun their destructive work in the soul.

After the methods of training which go hand in hand with angry words and slappings have once been begun, there is never an easy place to stop. It is always down grade  from this point, unless father, mother, or both together, come to the point where they are willing to throw themselves under the wheels until a turn can be made into a safer road. There is no way out of the consequences of such wrong-doing against the children, except by God's way of confession and consecration,—confession to the children as well as to God.

"Mother is sorry she spoke that way. Let us all try to be good together for Jesus' sake,
darling."

'' Let us not whip each other anymore; for that is not what our Heavenly Father likes to have us do. Let us read here in his book what we ought to do. Here is a letter which he has written to us about it: ' Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.''' Eph. 6:1.

'' Why is it right for me to obey you, mama, and you not obey me? "
'' Because your father and mother are 'older than you are, and have been given the care of you until you are able to learn how to take care of yourself. It is because you are new to the world and the things which are in it, that God tells you to obey us. We know some things that you don't know, just as you know some things that baby doesn't know, or that little kitty has not learned. If you are not willing to obey what God says, and to let us teach you, you will get hurt, or sick, or learn bad things, form bad habits, and grow up in ignorance, and maybe never know how to do right."

"What makes mama cry?" asked a dear little fellow of his quick-tempered mother, as he stopped before her suddenly in his rush through the house.

'' Because mama was naughty, and got angry with little sister," answered the mother, who had truth "in the inward part."

"O mama! " with his arms about her neck, "I am so sorry for you. I know just how it feels; but we will ask God to help you next time. He helps me every time I think to ask him."

Had that mother lost or gained by the confession? and what of the child?

'' Father is to blame: he forgot what God said in his letter to us."

"What did he say?" asked the boy, who had but a moment before been on the verge of rebellion.

"We will find it and see: ' And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.' [Eph. 6:4.] Father sees that if he had not forgotten and disobeyed that, he would not have done as he did with you, even if you did do wrong. Now let us see if we can't get square by what this Book teaches us all together, and stay so.."

"I don't like to do things when folks look at me that way.”

' 'Neither do I, dear. 1 will try to stop looking that way. Will you help me by doing right yourself? Shall we help each other, you and I, to look agreeable all the time, and do right?"

Try it, and see what it will do for the little ones who are hard to govern. "But," you say, '' one must have great self-control to be able to do that way."

Truly. And if one has not self-control, what then?


Advent Review and Sabbath Herald April 6, 1897.  VOL. 74, No. 14.
(Written from the Sanitarium in Battle Creek MI.)

" HOW TO STUDY THE CHILD.—NO. 2.



BY MRS.  S. M. I. HENRY.

To illustrate how much may result from a little well-directed knowledge of the child's internal organism, as well as of food combinations, I will give a case which I knew personally. A certain baby cried almost constantly from her
birth, until she had worn everybody out. Resort was had to many expedients to make rest possible to those who had the care of her. She circulated like a bad penny. She would be" sent from home with her nurse for a few days, and
back again as soon as possible; no one could keep her long at a time. Only when asleep could she be endured, and sleep was uncertain.
At night she had a large chamber to herself, father, mother, and nurse taking turns in occupying a smaller one which opened from it, in this
way giving each two nights in which to rest as best they could with the voice of her screaming filling the house.

When she was about fourteen months old, her grandmother came to see what was the matter with the child. Grandma did not believe that there was any need of such a state of things, and proposed to correct it if she could have undisputed authority. She found that many things had to be considered by this time; for the habit of crying had to be broken, as well as the cause removed. I cannot go into the whole history of the case; can only show how the grand result turned on very simple things.

The grandmother discovered constipation, and a fine red rash just under the skin, which, while not very noticeable, was enough to produce irritation.
As soon as the little body became warm, this would redden and burn ; but on exposure to the air would fade out so as to be scarcely perceptible,
and so had escaped notice. The food had been malted milk, cow's milk, mutton broth, and a soft curdled egg once a day. She was fed every three hours. The first change in her program was as follows: At 6 A. M. she was given all the water she would drink, and an hour later a ripe pear, sometimes two, peaches and apples in their season, all scraped to a pulp, with a graham cracker or two moistened with the fruit. At eleven o'clock she was given bread, crackers,
and sterilized milk mixed with lime-water. She was then hung in a hammock on the back porch, so covered that neither light nor air would disturb
her, and left to go to sleep. She was kept comfortable as to clothing, etc. Talcom powder was applied to prevent the irritation from the rash, and then if she cried, she was left to cry alone. At no time was any crying to be noticed.
As soon as it began, she was apparently forsaken. At 3 p. m. she had fruit, with graham crackers; and at seven o'clock, with her bottle of milk and lime-water, she went to bed. In less than two weeks the difficulty was so far overcome that the house became habitable and the nights restful. Before a month passed, she had almost ceased to cry at all, and began to develop the sweetest baby ways that could be imagined. She seemed herself to realize that a great pressure was removed from her little soul, and to appreciate the change. It was such a reaction as can hardly be understood by those who have not passed through a similar experience. Those who saw her can never forget how she so suddenly developed into health and happy life that it appeared almost miraculous.

The study of the child's body from head to foot should be the mother's daily practice. Every organ should have the most careful notice. Many a child has been misunderstood all his life because his vision was defective, and no
one suspected the fact. He has become deaf because his ears were not properly cared for; the accumulation of wax has closed up the passage,
even pressing against the ear-drum, and has been the cause of a lifelong trouble. The nasal passages, for the lack of a little delicate attention,
have become clogged, and catarrh has resulted from simple disregard of ordinary cleansing.  Injury has been wrought by harsh means in endeavors
to secure this cleanliness. A pin-head is a dangerous instrument to insert into a baby's nostril; a soft little roll of linen is sufficient. How many children in the average home are ever taught to brush their teeth after each meal and
on rising in the morning? while the more ''uncomely parts" are treated not only with neglect but dishonor.

The food which is served to children in the majority of homes, as well as neglect in care, will produce irritation of the groin, and of the anus itself, if not actual prolapse of the bowel; and any child suffering from any one of these causes cannot be expected to behave in any sense of the word. He will be "possessed of the devil" of discomfort, not to say distress, such as he cannot understand, and will be very "hard to manage."

Many children are born with a tendency to irritation of the sexual organs, which will lead to impure, unclean thinking and action, unless the evil is nipped in the bud. This will require a study of the parts affected, and the most delicate and intelligent treatment of them, such as can only be given by a mother who fully appreciates her office, and is so fully taught by the word and Spirit of God that she will see the safe course to follow in all these things. The terrible scourge of impurity, and the plague of secret vice, which have destroyed the beauty of so many childish faces, have resulted more from the ignorance of mothers than from any other cause. Satan has his stronghold here at the fountain of life, because it is here that God would most intimately associate himself in sacred relations with the race; and the enemy of all purity can only be prevented from perfecting his deadly work in the growing child by the most constant vigilance from infancy on through childhood and youth.

You have seen children whose hands were continually dropping downward, simply because they were in a state of constant physical irritation, for which they were not responsible. No child will habitually put his hands on any part of his body which is in a normal condition. This irritation is sometimes caused by tight and badly shaped clothing. Too many folds of the napkin on the baby will produce heat, as will also drawers that are too short, or are so made as to chafe the parts. If he rubs or handles any part of his body, it needs examination, treatment, and cure. The greatest care should be taken in the child's bath, and among the earliest lessons which he should learn is that he must not handle any of these organs. The mother does not fail to teach him that if anything happens to irritate the eye, ear, nose, or throat, he is to come to her at once, as sight and hearing, are at stake: this same carefulness should extend to the more important parts, upon the health of which depends the very life of soul as well as body. Impurity of thought takes root here in practice and habit, and from hence branches out into every avenue of the entire being, and destroys for two worlds. The habit of secret vice, once formed, is terrible in its tenacious hold; and yet it can be cured. I know a man, now great and pure, filled with good works for the world, who at seventeen was a wreck from evil practices, of which neither father nor mother had ever so much as dreamed. A sister of about twenty-three years, who was a teacher, and who had had her eyes opened to much sad truth, suspected the cause of her brother's condition. She consulted the family physician, and gained the confidence of her brother, and inspired him to efforts which she aided by watching beside him during the nights, taking her sleep by day, until the terrible grip of habit was broken, and he, by the grace of God, was saved. This man does not hesitate to say that all that he is, and all he is able to do in the work of God, is the result of the efforts of this sister.

The child should be taught by his mother that it is the office of the sexual  organ, more than anything else, to bring him into co-partnership with God as the Creator; and for this reason it is especially sacred, and should be under the mother's care until the child is old enough to understand these things himself.
(To be continued.)

Adventist Review and Sabbath Herald  March 30, 1897  Vol. 74 No. 13
(Written from the Sanitarium in Battle Creek, MI)